It's Friday, Friday, Friday! Oh!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna post the song for you to listen. It's bad enough that the song gets stuck in my head on days like this. I just can't resist how upbeat it is. :)
Anywho, I am two days away from a new year. I turn 21 on Sunday, and for the first time in my life, I am looking forward to my birthday. I'm not excited about the whole drinking part because, frankly, I've never liked alcohol that much. A glass of wine once or twice a month along with dinner? Sure. A whole bottle of tequila, rum, vodka or whatever? No. I can't stand the taste. What can I say? I'm half-Italian. The preference of wine over any other alcohol is just part of my nature.
Back to why I'm excited for my birthday...this year, I'm actually celebrating my life (that sounds wrong). Let me explain. Prior to this year, my birthdays have never felt worth celebrating. My life never felt worth celebrating. But now? Now, I have love in my life; I have a family that cherishes me; I have friends who are worth keeping, and I have myself to embrace.
They say that in order to truly give our hearts to one another, we must first give our hearts to ourselves. I never truly understood what that meant...until now. What changed? For one, I gave myself a break. I gave myself a break from criticism, from the shadows of my past, from the worries of my future, and I started to take care of the now. I let go of wanting to control everything, of living my life according to my ten-year plan. I let go, and I began to live.
I'm not saying my life is all sunshine and no rain because without the downpours in our lives, there aren't rainbows of reassurance afterward. What am I saying? I'm saying that I put it all in His hands. My fears, my expectations, the shattered pieces of my heart, my worries, it's all His to take care of.
So this weekend, I'm celebrating my life simply because I am worth it.